His death was just the beginning.
Introducing...
The NOT JUST A WIDOW Guidebook
Welcome to the club no one wants to be a member of—the sisterhood of widows.
Your husband's death is likely the worst experience of your life. You're distraught. There are so many things to be concerned about and to get done.
But you don't have to figure everything out on your own. This guidebook charts a path through the first two years (or so) of your journey.
Written by widow Patty Desiderio specifically for other widows, she's already walked that mile. This guidebook opens your eyes to the unique experiences of widowhood. It lets you know what questions to ask, what to be aware of, what needs to get done and when. It reinforces the idea that you are a woman with her own identity above and beyond being a widow.
You are not just a widow.
Patty's co-author, Doug Robinson, is the founder of a financial planning firm (DouglasBradley, LLC) that specializes in guiding women through the many things they need to address after her husband passes away. Together, they know it will take time to re-define yourself. This guidebook can help you get there a little quicker with less stress.
What's Inside
As open as we are as a society, we don't know how to react to and talk about death. Some well wishers will struggle to "say the right thing" ...Others will say nothing at all for fear of saying "the wrong thing". You may be surprised by the thoughtful expression of sympathy from someone you didn't expect to hear from, as well as the complete lack of response from a close friend or family member. Try not to read too much into it.
Very quickly you're going to find yourself dealing with things you relied on your husband to take care of. For example, car maintenance and dealing with the mechanic, house repairs and dealing with the handyman or painter.
As soon as the certified death certificate is available, tell the funeral home that you want to order 10 copies in addition to what they have given you. There will likely be a small cost, but it is worth it.
This helpful 150-page guidebook begins with Patty's story in her own words, followed by a Foreword by Financial Planner and Advisor Doug Robinson.
Topics Covered
Stage 1: His Death And The Days That Follow
Stage 2: Living Without Him
Stage 3: The Healing Begins
Stage 4: Exploring Your New Identity
Stage 5: Welcome To The New You
Each section starts with Patty's personal perspective and suggestions, lovingly referred to as "Patty's Sisterly Advice," and continues with...
- Insights & experiences relayed by both Patty and Doug to let you know you are not alone
- Blank pages for your very own grief journal, to jot down your feelings and help you remember any thoughts and ideas that come to you
- Terms and concepts you will need to know when speaking with those who are there to help
- A task list of important items to complete, with guidance about why they should be taken care of in a timely manner.
About the Authors
PATRICIA M. DESIDERIO
Patty (as her friends call her) is a long-time business owner who began her own journey of transformation in 2011 when her beloved Basil passed away after a long battle with cancer. She has dedicated her life to preparing new widows for the challenges ahead as they navigate the unique emotional and life experience rollercoaster that is widowhood. She is not just a widow, and neither are you!
DOUGLAS O. ROBINSON
Doug is the founder of a fee-only financial practice who has provided over twenty years of guidance and counsel on personal financial planning investments. His extensive experience helping widowed clients on their own journeys of transformation developed into specializing in the unique personal finance challenges widows face as they come to terms with their newfound independence.
Praise for The NOT JUST A WIDOW Guidebook
I so appreciate that you've put all of this information into a single resource. When my father passed away after a 2-month battle with cancer, my mother was in a state of shock. She needed help and guidance, and while everyone seemed to have an opinion about how to handle things like the funeral and Dad's finances, we really needed someone with experience in such things to help.
Patty and Doug became those people. Mom could empathize with Patty's stories and experiences, and she utilized the journal pages to write down notes that she'd think of during the day - even if it was just a reminder to ask the next door neighbor if he would cut her grass for a few weeks. At one point she got me and my siblings on the phone to go over her list of information to gather, asking each of us to investigate certain task-list items from the book. More than anything, I think the book gave her a degree of confidence that she wouldn't miss something important, and a reference to check on when a well-meaning friend or family member would say, "Oh you need to do this (or that)..."
- J. Harrison
